Today's Date in the Shire
28 Thrimidge
Middle-Earth Quotes

The Books
Middle-earth FAQ
The Books
Book List
Tengwar Scriptor
Talking Tolkien

Name Generators

Fun and Games

Personality Test
Gaffer's Proverbs
Grave Matters
Walk to Rivendell
Location Finder
Mad Libs
Malbeth the Seer
Oh! Behave!

Past Contests
Scavenger Hunt
Essay Contest
Missing Story
T-Shirt Contest
Comic Contest
Haiku Contest
Judges Haikus

Forum Index

Friday, 16 May 2003

(Letter 001)

Can you be to [sic] obsessed with LORT?

Hungry Pippin
Yes, indeedy, young'un. The Legion of Rowdy Tooks may seem like a fine group of young hobbits to take up with, but they're no good, I tell 'ya. I know it's them that's been tearing up my taters, so you don't want to be going and doing something as foolish as idolizing those ruffians. If your dad knew you'd been carousing with that pack of lazybones, he'd tan your hide.

Hamfast "Gaffer" Gamgee

(Letter 002)

Dear Whoever/reads/this/email,

I am 12 and live with my mom, dad, and younger sister. My sister is being very mean to all of the family, and she just keeps hurting our feelings. We've asked her what's wrong, but she doesn't tell us anything. She cuts us down and makes smart ellicy and rude remarks. I've thought about giving her a good punch allot but she only runs crying usually) to my mom, and whines and cry's about how I'm being unfair.


Verily, this is a deep problem. The respect of younger siblings should be enforced! One must be careful, however, not to threaten them in public else face the wrath of the Valar, or parents, as the case may be. I have also seen the results of responding to disrespect with violence. One little kinslaying and you are doomed forever, trust me on this. Try channeling your energy into creating something unique and beautiful. You never know who will benefit from (or be forever cursed by) the fruition of your talent.

Feanor of the Noldor

(Letter 003)

I'm in love with one elf, two scruffy humans and nineteen orcs. Who should I choose?

Pashnakette from Gundabad
Garn! It's obvious who you should choose: the mighty Uruk-Hai! We, loyal servants of the mighty Saruman the Wise are the best fighters, and we've just eaten the elf and the humans anyway. There's no need to choose between us because we're going to fight over you anyway. You can have the survivor, which will be me, and we'll eat the runners up to celebrate. How does that sound?


See Questions from other weeks.

What is Grave Matters
and how do I get my
questions answered?

*DISCLAIMER: Middle-earth characters are fictional, as are the answers they might give in Grave Matters. The Barrow-Downs is not responsible for anything that happens as a result of following the suggestions found here.

What's New??

Site News

All Themes

Readers' Section
Fan Fiction

This Site
Welcome Page
Site News
Contact Us
Our Team

More ...
Tolkien Links

Barrow-Downs asserts no claim to art or works of fiction posted on this site. If the artist, author, owner or rights-holder of any content posted herein objects to the inclusion of such content on this site, please contact us at and such content will be removed. The opinions, statements and text posted in the forum and guestbook are those of the persons posting and not of the Barrow-Downs or its operators.