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Sunday, 28 September 2003

Sorry for the delay.
Hurrican Isabel disrupted our messenger service
between the Barrow and the rest of Middle-earth.

(Letter 052)
Several different people of Middle Earth decided to answer the following question.

dear whoever it may concern,

i recently started going to horse riding lessons but my horse riding teacher doesn't like me, neither does the horse i ride, what can i do?

Billie Davidson

Billie, son of David,

I don't understand why you would trouble yourself with a horse. I would sooner walk or run than sit on the back of the beasts. But beasts, both horse and teacher, can be tamed by those with a winning way.

If you must, you might try to find someone with this winning way who will mount and direct the horse for you and then cling to him.

Unless this teacher is an old man. Then beware I say. More trouble could be coming. And then you'd have to hoof it yourself.

Gimli, son of Gloin

There is no reason to think that mastery depends on being liked. There are those who would question some of my decisions, but this counts for little, as I am lord here and brook no such insolence. Nor should you allow a horse and a horse master to interfere with your journeys. One is a mere beast, and the other, while a valuable ally, is not an equal by any means, not even to you. Let them understand that you are their superior, and you will command, not their love, but their respect, and I don't see why you should want more.

Denethor II

Dear Billie,

Neighhhhh, there's nothing you can do.

Bill the Pony
Since ponies cannot read or write, even in Middle-earth (as far as we know), we suspect this answer came from Samwise Gamgee,

Insignificant Creature -

Horses are entirely unacceptable creatures. They die at the slightest provocation. One little magical flood and they are destroyed completely. None of them have ever taken to me, even those bred for such purposes. Get yourself a reptilian bird of ancient lineage. The odor problem is a small price to pay for loyalty and durability.

The former King of Angmar and Lord of the Nazgul

See Questions from other weeks.

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*DISCLAIMER: Middle-earth characters are fictional, as are the answers they might give in Grave Matters. The Barrow-Downs is not responsible for anything that happens as a result of following the suggestions found here.

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